By Shawn Doyle

I am a professional speaker. I speak train and consult all over the country and I have seen in the last few years a definite increase in the time challenges that everyone I meet and talk with seem to have. People are in pain. People are completely and utterly miserably overwhelmed. No scratch that- they are beyond overwhelmed they are totally just “whelmed”!
I am meeting lots of people who are swimming in the sea of time management and clearly drowning as evidenced by the following:

- Clients call me in a blind panic because they “dropped the ball” on something and need last minute help.
- Parents watching their kid’s soccer game and cruising email on their Blackberry on a Saturday morning.
- People calling in to conference calls and we hear strange noises in the background. When we ask what is that sound?” they tell us they are on vacation.
- People who tell me they are getting 100- 300 emails per day.
- Emails from clients at midnight on a weekday and any hour and time on Saturdays, Sundays and holidays.
- People that don’t call me back for three weeks because they are “swamped.” 

So how can you solve this dilemma of life balance and still keep your job? How can you meet the expectations of your company or organization and still meet the expectations of your loved ones or perhaps more importantly yourself? Well it is not easy and it getting harder. So you have to be more proactive and make some very real efforts to try to seize control back.CapeDiem-seize the day! As John Bon Jovi sings “it’s your life”. Here are six suggestions to start to bring sanity back to your daily existence.

1. Just Say No!- you have to learn to say no in a very nice way . Why don’t we? My theory is 1) we want to please others too much 2) we want to avoid conflict 3) we are trying to lesson our guilt about something ( “I am not a good Mom” or “I am an absentee Dad”.) so we say “yes” to make us feel better. It is a temporary boost because when we say yes too many times we are right back to the same issue and we can’t meet all our commitments. So we are back where we started. I was recently asked to be an officer in an association to which I belong. I have to admit It really appealed to my ego but I said no because I knew it would interfere with other priorities. I said no.

2. Set your priorities- based on your goals. This gives you the opportunity to then analyze any request you get and decide if it is aligned with your priorities. Then you have a sound reason to say no. So repeat after me: “I am sorry I can’t help with that I have some other current priorities but I really appreciate your asking me.”

3. Train your boss- your boss keeps giving you more and more work and you keep accepting more and more work. Because you are really good at it- you get rewarded by getting more to do. The fact that you accept it is training your boss to give you more. You don’t want to say no because it reinforces your value and keeps you employed. Right? Yes and no. Yes you have to always reassert your value, but the knucklehead that sits behind you does half the work (for the same pay) and you have missed five of ten of your son’s basketball games because you accepted working on nine new projects and had to stay late. Where is the line? It has to be drawn somewhere. Here is a “boss management” technique. When you are at over capacity- make a list of all your projects and print it out. Go to your manager and say – “I know you want me to work on the Monkey Knuckle project. Here is a list of all the stuff I am working on I can’t get them all done, which one should I delay?” Sometimes they don’t remember all they have given you. This is where they may be able to give you some relief and delegate some projects to other people likeWilson, who is sitting in his cubicle eating microwave popcorn.

4. Reconnect to your passions – outside of work- do you love to paint? Take photos? Hike in the mountains? Go to Star Trek conventions? When was the last time you took part in the activities you love so much? If the answer is a long time congratulations you are caught up in the whelm. I recently met a woman at a training class I was conducting who said, “Being out doors is my joy- it completes who I am.” I asked her how often she does that and her answer was “never.” Her reason was “she didn’t have time.” You don’t have time to restore your soul? Book time on your calendar with yourself and keep the date. It makes you a better you and a better mother father son husband wife employee. You will come back to work recharged and refreshed. Guaranteed.

5. Take the long term view- ask yourself what is really important in your life and work? There are not many people on their deathbed at the end of their life who wish they would have done one more purchase order request form. They always say- “I wish I would have ______________.” (fill in the black here) Ironically it is almost never about a work topic. So at the end when you are sitting looking back over the landscape of your life- what do you want to have accomplished? Consider this deep question and spend some time developing some answers and action you can take.

6. Stop over scheduling- we never leave any room on our schedule to just hang out and relax. A recent visit with out of town family inVirginia found us on Saturday in the car taking two kids to an endless stream of soccer practice, birthday parties, karate etc, etc. time two this went from 8:00 am to about 5:00 pm. It felt rushed not relaxing, scheduled not serene, and overdone not authentic. Block time on the calendar to do nothing. Guess what? Doing nothing when you have been working hard is good for you.

The bottom line is somewhat simplistic but true. It is your life, and you can either manage it or have someone manage it for you; have a map or have one provided for you that is not your own. It’s your car dammit. Take back the wheel and drive.

Shawn Doyle is the President  and Founder of New Light Learning and Development Inc. (www.newlightlearning.com) a company specializing in Leadership Development. He has also authored six books on leadership sales and motivation. His latest books The 10 Foundations of Leadership and 2 Months to Motivation will be published this fall.
Contact Shawn